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Dear Santa,

I have a short list for you this year, on account that I'm 31, and well... you know...

As you probably know, I've been a very nice boy. I've been administrating and editing this Wiki for a television show. It's very scary, and full of people being very naughty (and sometimes nice). That's true on the television show, too.

Anyway, this list may not make a whole lot of sense, but you can probably delegate it to an elf (or Mrs Claus) if they indulge in the guilty pleasure of this show. It's mostly about the very nice Harmons (who are sometimes naughty) and an incredibly naughty ghost boy named Tate. If you deliver to the fictional worlds, he deserves a sizable chunk of coal.

  1. No more screaming fangirls about how "HAWT" Tate is. He's a ghost. Necrophilia is very naughty. Besides, he's permanently 17, so he's underage.
  2. And how he's not really evil, just misunderstood. The dude killed 15 people, immolated his almost-stepfather, had a SWAT team shoot him; then as a ghost, he killed some more people (I don't believe those nice nurses' ghosts were responsible), raped and impregnated his girlfriend's mother, then drove his girlfriend to suicide. No, really. I wasn't kidding about that naughty bit. He's a very sick boy.
  3. A very happy holidays to our new friends the Harmons, and their cool friend Moira. We'll miss them in Season 2, and they're never coming back, but they have a nice fireplace for you, so long as you're in Fictionland.
  4. No more galleries on the Wiki. And no summary pages. Or pages for characters who are only in a single episode.
  5. I'd like a nice gay couple to come help me decorate the house for your arrival.
  6. People should read and follow the guidelines. Santa, this may be the toughest job you have, but just remind them to go to AHS:CP.
  7. Finally, I'd like a nice black latex coverall suit with a mask. If you knew why, I'd be on your naughty list for a long time, so just consider it back-credit.

Happy Holidays, Santa. We'll save a spot for you!


Isaac, the Jewish Texan

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